Expressing Anger Towards Children, Don't Forget to Improve Parental Bonding

"Release Your Anger Towards Your Child, Don't Forget to Improve the Bonding Between Father and Mother"

Expressing Anger Towards Children, Don't Forget to Improve Parental Bonding

Dream - In some situations, parents' emotions when dealing with a difficult, defiant, or unresponsive child can be very uncontrollable. Many "lose control" and shout or yell at their child, even to the point of making them scared or traumatized.

Certainly, after the incident, the relationship with the child became like a 'cold war'. There are even some who don't communicate at all. As parents, of course, we must be wiser in such situations.

It cannot be denied, when we are 'released' we feel very guilty. It is important for parents to rebuild bonding or closeness with their children after conflicts.

"Do not let the condition be left unattended because it can have a negative impact on the psychological well-being of your child, including the relationship with him/her. 'Instead of being busy blaming oneself, it is better for us to consistently strive to improve the special bonding with the child, which may have been 'damaged' due to neglect,' said Audrey Susanto, a child and family psychologist."

"How to do it?"

According to Audrey, there are five things that Mom and Dad can do after a major conflict with their child, namely regulate, reconcile, relate, reason, and reflect. Let's discuss them one by one.

1. Regulate

"Do not approach the child when emotions are still high. Calm yourself first. Father or mother can take a short break. Manage your own emotions first, then help the child recognize and regulate their emotions. 'Calmness can be contagious and children learn best by imitating,' said Audrey."

2. Reconcile

Father and mother should also acknowledge their mistakes and apologize to their child. Do not justify behavior that cannot control emotions. Avoid making the child feel responsible for the emotions we feel. Do some kind of reconciliation or approach. Avoid blaming sentences, for example, "Sorry, dad/mom got carried away because of you, that's why please listen tomorrow."

3. Relate

Create a situation that keeps parents and children connected, namely by understanding each other's emotions. Parents can validate their child's emotions. They can open up a discussion or ask a question, "Are you sad because earlier I was angry with you?". Once the child is calmer, the mother can rebuild the relationship by playing together.

4. Reason

Express the reason or motive that triggers the emotions of fathers and mothers towards their children. Also, provide an understanding of what fathers or mothers actually want their children to do. For example, "your school starts at 8 o'clock so we need to leave at 7. This is so you won't be late and punished. Do you have any ideas to avoid being late again?"

5. Reflect

It is also important to reflect on oneself when feeling extremely angry towards a child. 'Ask yourself, what caused me to lose control, what happened before I got angry at the child. By knowing the trigger, parents can learn to be more careful when experiencing similar incidents," Audrey advised. Source: IG @audreytsusanto

home decor

The Back of the House is Made Aesthetic, Looks Very Beautiful

At the back, there is a small garden with a modern glass building.