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Tidak dengan Kekerasan, Inilah Cara Menyelesaikan Konflik Rumah Tangga yang Diajarkan Abu Ad-Darda'

Not with Violence, This is the Way to Solve Domestic Conflicts Taught by Abu Ad-Darda'

Dream - Marital conflicts are a common occurrence. Often, these conflicts that should be resolved amicably by husband and wife, instead become public attention. This is because violence is involved in these conflicts. Whether it is the husband towards the wife or the wife towards the husband. This is commonly referred to as Domestic Violence (DV). Unfortunately, this has resulted in injuries and even deaths. This is truly regrettable.

Household that should be built on love and affection, but is marred by physical violence.

Not with Violence, This is How to Resolve Domestic Conflicts Taught by Abu Ad-Darda'

Then, how does Islam solve marital conflicts? Actually, this has been explained in the Al-Quran and also taught by the Prophet's companions. Well, here is how to resolve marital conflicts in Islam as summarized by Dream through nu.or.id.

Menyelesaikan Konflik Rumah Tangga Menurut Al-Quran

"Resolving Household Conflicts According to the Al-Quran"

In the Al-Quran, there are several verses that discuss resolving conflicts within a household. Namely, in Surah An-Nisa verses 34, 35, and 128.

For example, in the letter An-Nisa verse 34 and 35: "Women whom you fear will disobey, advise them, leave them alone in the sleeping place (separate beds), and (if necessary) strike them (in a non-harmful way). However, if they obey you, do not seek ways to harm them. Indeed, Allah is the Most High, the Most Great." (QS. An-Nisa: 34)

"\u201cIf you (the guardians) are afraid of a dispute between the two parties, then send a mediator from the man's family and a mediator from the woman's family. If both parties intend to reconcile, then surely Allah will grant them success. Indeed, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.\u201d (Quran, An-Nisa: 35) This verse explains that in resolving marital conflicts, it is advisable to involve two mediators for a peaceful resolution."

"Like in verse 34, there are three stages to resolve marital conflicts. Namely advising, separate beds, and using non-harmful physical force. Then in verse 128, it explains that Allah SWT wants to conceal His servant's faults. So, a servant should not feel ashamed because of their own carelessness. Meanwhile, in verse 35, it involves involving someone else who is still a close family member. Where they know each other's characters. This is done if the husband and wife can no longer reconcile their perceptions."

"How to Resolve Household Conflicts According to Abu Ad-Darda"

Abu Ad-Darda is one of the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) who once experienced conflict in his household and it was resolved in a different way in general.

Cara Menyelesaikan Konflik Rumah Tangga Menurut Abu Ad-Darda

Abu Ad-Darda's way of resolving conflicts in his household is by forgiving each other. Then, surrendering everything to Allah SWT, having good intentions and believing that whatever happens in the household is Allah's destiny. Everything that is destined by Allah SWT is the best. In marital conflicts, the tests that come are from Allah SWT, so only Allah SWT can resolve them. Just as Abu Ad-Darda once advised Ummu Ad-Darda in Raudhatul 'Uqala' wa Nuzhatul Fudhala':

"O Ummu ad-Darda', if I am angry, calm me down, and if you are angry, I will calm you down. Without such a pattern (mutual calming), separation would be very easy." (Raudhatul 'Uqala' wa Nuzhatul Fudhala' [Dar al-Kutub al-Ilmiyah, Beirut] p.14) So, resolving marital conflicts is indeed not easy. But it requires wisdom within it. When couples understand that such conflicts are tests from Allah SWT, then they will handle them wisely."

In addition, he is also capable of controlling his emotions. Therefore, the emotions within him do not cause any negative impact. Such as revealing disgrace, cursing, let alone resorting to violence.

Not with Violence, This is How to Resolve Domestic Conflicts Taught by Abu Ad-Darda'
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