Here's the translation of the provided text while preserving the HTML tags: "Dream - Heartbreak is never pleasant. But sometimes, expressing our thoughts in a funny way can be a powerful therapy. Especially if we can convey it through humorous jabs at our ex that lighten our hearts. Imagine how satisfying it feels to drench an ex with subtle jabs full of laughter, while gaining freedom from the past. In this article, Dream will share 35 funny jabs at exes that are ready to accompany your days with laughter and witty remarks."

Here is the translation with the HTML tags preserved: "1. "That ex is like an old phone, no longer useful." 2. "If you were WiFi, your connection would definitely be weak and often drop." 3. "That ex is like a soap opera, there's always drama but it never ends happily." 4. "Some say an ex is the past, but sometimes they still make us laugh.""

5. "It's okay, exes are just lessons, not textbooks that need to be read repeatedly." 6. "If an ex were a superhero, they would definitely be the hero who only has the power to annoy." 7. "You used to say you wanted to be a hero, but it turns out you just became a drama spice." 8. "Exes are like apps that often crash, they make you upset but are hard to delete." 9. "Be careful, exes are like viruses, they can bring your mood down." 10. "Don't worry, exes are just fillers for your free time, not attention thieves."

Here is the translation of the provided text while preserving the HTML tags: 11. "That ex is like a wild cat, coming and going without warning." 12. "If an ex were food, they would definitely be junk food that gives you a stomach ache." 13. "An ex is like a neon light, shining bright but quickly fading." 14. "I used to think you were the complement to my life, turns out you were just the complement to a horror story." 15. "An ex is like a laptop that's out of date, it's time to replace it."

Here is the translated text with HTML tags preserved: 16. "If an ex were a movie, it would definitely have a bad rating and be often criticized." 17. "An ex is like a pillow that's too soft, comfy but makes you feel weak." 18. "If you were a vehicle, you'd definitely be the one that often breaks down in the middle of the road." 19. "I used to think you were a superhero, turns out you're just good at writing drama scripts." 20. "An ex is like a music playlist that's gone stale, then replayed." 21. "If an ex were a game, you'd definitely be the one that often causes frustration."

Here is the translated text with the HTML tags preserved: "22. "Exes are like ornamental plants, nice to look at in front but a hassle behind." 23. "If an ex were the weather, you'd definitely be the one causing the storm in life." 24. "Exes are like wall clocks that keep ticking, stressful but can't be turned off." 25. "If you were a book, you'd definitely be the one that's hard to read and doesn't pique curiosity." 26. "Exes are like traffic lights, always confusing." 27. "If an ex were a perfume, the scent would definitely make you dizzy.""

28. "The ex is like a restaurant menu that always fails to satisfy the appetite." 29. "If you were an object, you would definitely be the one that often goes missing and is never found." 30. "The ex is like news that often gets replayed, always making it boring." 31. "If the ex were a color, you would definitely be the one that makes the atmosphere gloomy." 32. "The ex is like a broken toy, frustrating but hard to let go of." 33. "If the ex were a cookbook, you would definitely be the one that often makes failed dishes."

34. "The ex is like a party decoration, only good for a while." 35. "If you were software, you'd definitely be the one that often crashes and needs updates." Those are the funny sarcastic words about exes that can help you release your emotions in a more cheerful way. By using these funny sarcastic words about exes, you can not only entertain yourself but also show that you are ready to move on with a smile. Don't forget, when you feel burdened by past memories, these funny sarcastic words about exes can be the perfect comfort.