Psychologist's Advice for Mothers to Not Get Frustrated When Children Disagree

Psychologist's advice so that Mom doesn't "lose control" when the child likes to argue.

Psychologist's Advice for Mothers to Not Get Frustrated When Children Disagree

Dream - Facing children who are getting smarter in speaking, fathers and mothers may sometimes be provoked emotionally. When advised or told the right thing, they then deny it.

When patience is very thin, parents may be provoked emotionally. The effects are raised voices, threats, shouting, and escalating conflicts, often referred to as being "ngereog".

Father and mother often experience it? Audrey Susanto, a family psychologist, reveals that yelling or threatening does indeed often make children immediately move and obey orders, but in fact, this is not effective and makes the relationship between parents and children unhealthy.

"After shouting, will the child listen? Shouting at a child is not actually an effective way to improve a child's behavior. When shouted at, the child only changes their behavior out of fear and anxiety," Audrey expressed.

The challenge is to make children understand the impact of the instructions we give, and also to teach them not to be selfish. It is also important to encourage everyone at home to work together well so that activities and the atmosphere at home become more organized. Shouting at them will only make the child feel scared, but their mistakes will continue to be repeated. "When a child changes their behavior not because they understand why it should be changed, there is a possibility that the child will repeat the bad behavior. Don't you want to constantly scold your child to remind them?" Audrey said.

"When a child changes their behavior not because they understand why it should be changed, then the possibility is that the child will repeat that bad behavior. Don't you want to constantly remind the child?" Audrey said.

He also shared four tricks so that children can be invited to work together and not argue too much. Worth a try, fathers and mothers.

1. Establish connection

Wake up the connection before giving instructions. Before asking a child to do something, take the time to join the child's world so that the mother can get full attention. You can position yourself in the child's situation. For example, "Wow, are you playing with toy cars, it's so exciting, what kind of car is this? Mom wants to let you know that we need to get ready for school, we need to wear a uniform, okay."

2. Use Playful Sentences

The following is the translation of the provided 'Bahasa' text to 'English' while preserving the HTML tags: "Fun or playful instructional sentences will make children more excited. You can provide jokes or hypothetical situations. For example, "to all passengers, please be prepared as the plane will soon take off to xxx school, have all passengers already worn their uniforms?"."

3. Emotional Validation for Children

The following is the translation of the given 'Bahasa' text to 'English' while preserving the html tags: "The first important step is to validate the child's emotions first. Find out the emotional condition of your loved one, this will make the child feel understood, not just being ordered around. For example, 'Mother knows you're still having fun now, but please finish your obligations first, okay'."

4. Observation and Reflection

Pay attention to the child's behavior and reflections as well as analysis, what makes the child argue. When we know the cause, we can determine a more appropriate way to adapt to the child's behavior. It could be due to fatigue, stress at school, or maybe not feeling well. Source: Instagram @audreytsusanto

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