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Dream - There are many stories and complaints on social media about the strained relationship between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Some cases even end in divorce.
"Sometimes in-laws can be too controlling, while the daughter-in-law feels constantly pressured and forced to comply. Their relationship becomes heated, while the son is unable to assert himself."
According to Anas Satriyo, a family psychologist, one of the triggers for this is the excessive emotional attachment between a mother and her son that continues into adulthood.
"It can disrupt the formation of healthy boundaries in a marriage between a young man and his wife," expressed Anas."
This condition is influenced by psychological factors and family dynamics that have been occurring since the boy's childhood. One thing that triggers unhealthy boundaries and should be avoided by mothers, according to Anas, is telling marriage relationship problems to young boys.
"Sharing about husband to children since their minds are still young, it is really DANGEROUS. The long-term impact can disrupt the ability of adult boys to establish a healthy marital relationship with their wives, and disrupt the ability of adult boys to balance various roles in adulthood," said Anas."
In the future, when a boy has reached adulthood, he will have many roles. As a partner, worker, boss, leader, father, and not just the role of "mother's child" only.
In this situation from Anas' experience, there are also many children who do not have a complete father figure in their caregiver and its impact is very significant in emotional growth. Therefore, children are forced to take on the role of the father in the family.
"In my experience as a child psychologist, I handle emotional, behavioral, and mental health issues in children who are affected by their parents' marital relationship. After our investigation, we found that the father's inability to fulfill his role as a healthy husband to his wife and as a father to his child is the cause," said Anas. If left unaddressed, boys will have a dominant role as the "mother's child," and this is very unhealthy for their personal lives. According to Anas, the key is to create a balance of roles and healthy boundaries between the mother and the son." Source: Anastasia Satriyo, M.Psi"
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