"Dream - Shaping children's independence can sometimes make parents feel anxious. Especially when it comes to learning. Often, when children have to do school assignments, prepare for tests, or similar tasks, it is the parents who are busy preparing them."
Starting from reminding the schedule, preparing the materials, to becoming a 'supervisor' or a foreman to monitor them so they really learn. Is this often done with children? Please change it soon, Parents.
According to the educator from Sekolah Cikal Bandung, Dwi Ayun, constantly supervising children who are reluctant to learn independently is not the right approach. Children still need to be shaped to be brave in taking responsibility, and parents need to provide that trust to their children.
"When a child is reluctant to engage in activities independently, there are various factors that influence this, such as the child's age, parenting style, and environment," said Ayun, as quoted from the press release received by Dream.
Here's the translation of the provided text while preserving the HTML tags: "1. Child's Age At a certain age, children do not yet have enough self-confidence to perform certain tasks or activities alone; this lack of confidence arises because they have not done such things before or because the child does not know how to cope with failure or mistakes.
“A child's age is one of the factors that causes the child to not be ready to be independent. This is because the child still feels not confident enough to do what is asked by the parents,” said Ayun."
"2. Parenting Patterns The parenting pattern that spoils children also affects their independence. This can make children dependent on their parents because they are used to being helped. This dependency can hinder a child's independence, where they tend to reject opportunities to learn. “Parents are accustomed to helping or serving. Children will feel reluctant or uncomfortable when trying to do things on their own. They feel unsure or even afraid to try without their parents' help. Emotional dependency causes children to refuse to be encouraged to be independent,” said Ayun."
"3. New Environment
Adapting to a new environment can be a stressful experience for some children. They tend to feel uncomfortable because they have to be in a new place that they have never visited before. This certainly makes the child anxious. “A new environment makes the child feel uncomfortable when doing something without maximum help from their parents. For example, on the first day of school, where the child has never been to school before, but on that day the child is asked to enter the classroom alone and cannot see their parents,” Ayun revealed."
The translation of "Menghadapi Anak yang Menolak Mandiri" to English is "Dealing with Children Who Refuse to Be Independent".
"After understanding the reasons why children refuse to be taught independence, here are ways that parents can apply to effectively address it:"
"1. Involve Children in Small and Simple Matters"
"Citing the article The Key to Raising Independent, Capable Kids written by Lisa Firestone Ph.D on Psychology Today, giving children the opportunity to contribute to simple daily activities will make them confident and shape a sense of responsibility."
“We can let children help in their own way, such as setting the table or helping to plant. In this way, the child will build their own ability to complete their tasks or responsibilities,” said Ayun.
"2. Give Children a Chance"
Based on the journal A Case Study of Culturing Children's Independence Attitude Through Parent’s Role and Teacher’s Role, parents play an important role in developing independence in early childhood. It is recommended to give children trust and opportunities to make choices, as well as to guide them in understanding the consequences of each choice they make.
The process of educating children to become independent can be done by not spoiling them excessively, but by giving them the opportunity to learn to be responsible for their actions.
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